Loneliness

Loneliness

Alone.

The oppressive silence

Cuts into my heart

As I cry

Silent tears.

Hello?

Can anyone hear me?

Only my heartbeat

Answers the cry

Of my heart.

God?

Have even you left me

Alone…

All alone in my sorrow?

No answer…

Except

My aching heart

And tired mind.

Strange, you see,

Because there are so many people

All around…

But no one sees me.

Ignored.

This stuffy bubble

Called isolation—

Not of my choosing

But assigned to me—

Crushes me.

I see the people

And smile…

Try to talk…

But silenced by

Their indifference.

Oh, God!

What’s wrong with me?

Why does nobody want me?

Do you also

Not want me?

I weep.

Silent tears,

Shuddering at an icy wind

That only my heart

Can feel.

Alone,

   Afraid,

      Aching,

Acutely aware that others

Feel as lonely

As I do…

But are they also standing here

   Nearby smiling, chatting…

      And alone, too?

God,

You are everywhere,

So come out, come out

Wherever you are

Because I know

You’re here…

   But where are you?

Why does my heart

Feel all alone

With an aloneness

That cannot be broken through?

Oh, God,

It’s terrible torture

To know and to do

All the right things

And still feel empty…

   And alone.

God,

I know you can hear me,

But why do you—even you—

Hold yourself aloof

From my heart?

And my pain

Of feeling

All

Alone?

Is there no reprieve for good behavior?

O-o-o-oh God!

Help me!

Such lonely aching

I could die from…

But torturously,

I still live…

Alone

Even with you and people

All around me.

Utterly alone.

Oh, God.

This icy wall of separation

Is too penetratingly

An agony…

Oh, God,

If you do not bridge it,

I will die…

Alone.

To know in my head

That you have

Is not enough

If I do not feel you there.

Oh, God,

Please let me know you

And feel your presence

In my aching

Lonely heart.

Ó22 January 1993, Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw.